Film Review

I love to watch movies and TV shows and I love to write about them. Unfortunately, I don’t have the time to do this as much as I would like. Only when I feel that I have something worth writing about will I add a review.

Unlike traditional reviews, these will often read more like conventional essays. Traditional movie reivews are too formulaic and too often prioritize elevating the aesthetic sensibilities of the author than providing meaningful commentary. It’s as if most reviewers see themselves as poets first and foremost. Perhaps that’s a function of editors looking for the most talented writers when hiring, but most just spew out the most pretentious and meaningless gobbledygook.

I miss Roger Ebert. I especially loved it when he would write about the ideas a film inspired him to think about while sparsely discussing the movie itself. If a reviewer mentions the film’s color pallette it damned well better have to do something with the plot. Anyway, I hope you enjoy.


Film Review Formula

I rate things on a five star scale and I try to avoid half stars as much as possible. Because I try to write about the ideas a film elicits, these writings are less designed to guide consumers and more designed for a person who has already watched the film.

One of the five stars is reserved for artistic merit. A film can be technically perfect, but if it’s not about anything it can only receive four stars.

True Romance

True Romance

Rating True Romance is an objectively bad film that just so happens to have one of the best casts ever assembled. Christian Slater, Patricia Arquette, Dennis Hopper, Gary Oldman, Christopher Walken, Samuel L. Jackson, Brad Pitt, Val Kilmer, Tom Sizemore, James...

Licorice Pizza

Licorice Pizza

Rating Licorice Pizza might be the best bad movie ever made. The events in the film are held together by a love story, but they are all so disjointed and sporadic that it would be generous call it a plot. However, it's also written and directed by one of the great...


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